Coming Full Circle

My dear friend Angie of 21 years wrote the coolest note to me that made me think a lot about what I've gone through over the years to get to this wonderful part of my life where I feel I have come full circle in completing my lifetime dream of being a mother to two children, a boy and a girl. Angie looked back at when I began my blog in January 2008, and my first entry as “Our adoption journey begins”. Angie said Jon and I looked so happy, and anxiously awaiting the next member of our family. Angie didn't know but I was pregnant in that picture and I lost the baby which was heartbreaking. It took me a long time to recover from that depressing time in my life and to regain hope and courage to pursue my dream to have children. People in the adoption world kept saying "your child is out there somewhere so follow your heart". That was difficult to understand since I had prayed so hard for all my pregnancies to be successful and I didn't understand why God wasn't listening to my heart. He had a different plan for me and it was hard to accept. Angie brought to my attention that in my recent entry on December 29, almost one year later, that I'm wearing the same sweater in the picture as the first blog entry. It was completely unplanned to be wearing the same sweater just like two years ago, I did not think it was possible that I would have two babies after being told I had little chance of having children biologically. I also was told one year ago that it would be difficult to adopt one child at age 40, much less two. We are so blessed to have been chosen twice in one year to adopt two children. It's a miracle to me which may sound extreme but I don't know how else to describe how fortunate I feel to have been double blessed! Our 2009 will be a wonderful year full of pitter patter feet, baby gurgles, sleepless nights and chaos, of course ;) but more love and happiness than anyone can possibly imagine. I'm still pinching myself each day as I stare into the beautiful faces of Brayden and Ciara and thank God for giving Jon and me these wonderful gifts to complete our family.